Wherever I May Roam
by slyfoxxy
Summary: Ash isn't a Cousland, yet everyone refers to her as one...She'll never look at video games the same again. Rated M for safety. Possible romance later on.
1. The Jolt

You don't see many of these around these days and I felt adding yet _another_ fluffy DA fanfic would be too boring, I have decided not to finish my previous DA fanfic until I finish this one and gauge the results.

I hope that some will like it and constructive critisim is welcome.

I do not own Dragon Age Origins or any of the characters, except Ash herself.

~**~

As she watched the load bar fill on the screen a little thrill of excitement bubbled in her chest. Yes it was lame and she knew it, but even though she had played Dragon Age twice before she had yet to play as the Human Noble Origin. As the computer finished loading and she created her character she wondered how differently she would do things this time.

She typed a name, Ash Cousland.

It wasn't a particularly epic name but it was her own and helped her feel more attached and one with her characters. The phone rang just as she finished talking to Fergus Cousland and saved. Looking at her watch she muttered, irritated.

"Ash where are you?" came her friend Jake's voice down the line, "I hope you aren't playing those stupid video games again."

She found this intensely ironic as he had been the one to get her into them in the first place so she just ignored the jab and told him she was just leaving. Picking up her bag and clipping it around her shoulder she reached to turn of the computer. A small jolt of electricity met her finger and she yelped at the shock just as the power went out. Shaking her hand as it went slightly numb she realised there must have been a short circuit.

"_Great," _she muttered to herself, feeling for the lightswitch, only she couldn't seem to find it.

Ash frowned into the pitch darkness. Groping around she found herself disoriented, she knew where everything was but couldn't seem to find anything familiar. Suddenly she could hear voices coming from behind her and her frown deepened, how she had turned herself around she couldn't think. Her friend's must have been sick of waiting for her and come to physically pull her from the computer.

"Hold on a sec," she called, "The power's gone out and-"

Before she could finish the biggest fog she had ever seen burst through the door, spilling light into the room. Her momentary shock was replaced with a curious hysteria as she realised the door did not belong to her, nor did the room outside it....

Or the room she was standing _in!_

The girl tried to take a moment to collect herself, she had only been playing the computer a minute ago...

She realised the dog was whining at her and started at the size of it, the hound could have been mistaken for a miniature pony! He forced his head under her hand and she felt wetness, as she looked at her palm in the semi light a curious darkness covered her hand. She stepped cautiously into the hall and looked down.

Ash had never fainted in her life but she thought at that moment she was close to it, her hand was covered in _blood!_

So was the dog for that matter, as well as the three men lying on the floor at her feet. It was obvious the animal had ripped their throats out, but he just stood next to her, whimpering expectantly. For some odd reason she could not be afraid of him.

"_Ok too many video games have addled my brain..Or maybe Jake slipped something into my coffee or-"_

She remembered the electric shock and her stomach stopped cramping just a little.

"_I'm unconscious, that's it! I got shocked and passed out and dear God someone please find me soon and get me out of this trippy nightmare!"_

_~**~_

A woman's voice behind her caught her off guard and she turned to find a middle aged woman sprinting towards her. She was dressed in leather armour and had a longbow strapped to her back. She choked back her startled yelp as the woman embraced her tightly.

"Are you alright? You aren't hurt? Did you see their shields? Those are Arl Howe's men!"

Wait- _What!_

Arl Howe, as in Arl Rendon Howe... From _Dragon Age?!?_

"_This is not happening, this is not happening, this is _not _happening!"_

Suddenly she wanted to curl up in the fetal position and block her ears with her fingers, singing loudly to keep everything out.

"This isn't real- It just can't be possible! I must be insane..."

She hadn't realised she had said it aloud until the woman she now knew as Eleanor Cousland shook her.

"Calm yourself daughter...And- What on Maker's Earth are you _wearing_?"

Ash looked down and realised she was still dressed as she had been ten minutes ago, before the nightmare had begun. She was wearing baggy jeans, sneakers and a large loose t-shirt, her strap bag still clipped securely to her shoulder. She realised it must look quite odd given her surroundings, then shook her head. She wasn't dressed funny, it was a _game _for pete's sake!

"Nevermind that now, we must find your father! Oh I do hope he is alright...."

The woman seemed frantic as she pushed a small sword into Ash's hands, the girl looked at her incredulously.

"You don't seriously expect me to _use _this do you?"

The Teyrna looked at her kindly, "I had hoped you would never see real battle but..."

Ash had not meant it like that but in hindsight realised she had trained her character as a warrior.

She was supposed to _know _how to fight.

She remembered that she had done a bit of 'sparring' when she had been part of a re-enactment society, but that was two years ago, and she had always known what her opponents next move would be. A strangled gasp pulled her out of her numbness and she saw that Eleanor had moved to the doorway opposite her.

Fergus' room.

"Oh no, my little Oren! What manner of fiend slaughter's innocents?" 

_Not good, not good, not good..._

She could feel herself starting to panic, the sickness rising like bile in her throat. She tried not to picture a little boy dead on the floor. The woman turned to her, tears streaking down her face, "Howe's men must be everywhere," she managed huskily, "We must get to the front gates."

_yes. Moving. Good._

Maybe doing something would stop her from descending into a shrieking hysterical mess.

~**~

They moved silently through the castle as battle sounds raged and grew closer. More bodies piled around them. Ash had to close her eyes and hold the Mabari's fur to stop herself from gagging or throwing up every three seconds. Her hands shook as she fitted the light leather armour her 'mother' handed her from the treasury. She felt awkward, ungainly and uncomfortable with it over her street clothes but at least for now with a light wooden shield she was somewhat protected.

There was no way to avoid fighting as they reached Ser Gilmore, Howe's soldiers practically filled the room, outnumbering them by at least three to one. She had never intentionally hurt anyone in her life so she just kept her shield up and covering her as men turned to attack her.

"_Oh my God, I'm going to die in a __**video game**__! This is like something out of a twisted Freddy Krueger movie!"_

Her arm was aching from the blows her shield was taking, she wasn't exactly the fittest or most muscular person, she was a computer geek after all. She was taken aback when the pounding suddenly stopped and Ser Gilmore stood panting above her as she cowered in a corner.

At least she had managed to keep the wall at her back.

"My lady are you alright? Did you lose your sword?"

She realised this was a question as to why she had not been fighting and was relieved to be able to affirm it, she really did not need them thinking she had totally lost her senses. He helped her to her feet and sent them towards the kitchen.

She was most definitely not expecting what they found.

"Howe's men found me...Almost did me in right there."

Bryce Cousland lay on the floor in a pool of blood that was getting steadily bigger. Eleanor took the man in her arms, heedless of the blood that soaked her legs and armour. Ash's heart was in her mouth.

What the _hell?_

Suddenly the Grey Warden appeared, Ash had been expecting it well before this.

"_Figures," _She muttered to herself, _"Character development and all."_

She had resigned herself to the fact that she would be leaving with Duncan and did not protest when the subject came up. She only wished that something could have been done to prevent the horror that was happening around her. The Warden's hand on her shoulder startled her and he looked at her kindly, regret clear in his features.

"We must go."

She muttered and noticed for the first time that she was shaking and shivering, the dog nudged her to move.

As they moved through the hidden passage Ash took one last look back to see Eleanor standing solidly over her husband, ready to defend him to the death.

She really _really _hoped she would wake up soon...


	2. Ten Days

Ash _really_ hated walking – No, hate wasn't a strong enough word.

Detested, despised, _loathed..._

In any case it was really bad.

After passing out from exhaustion day after day and never actually waking up where she was _supposed _to, really had her concerned for her own sanity. She also realised she didn't have any of the little luxuries from home she had taken for granted...

No car, no computer, no pop tarts and _definitely _no hot showers. Oh how she longed for a nice long hot shower, and a _toothbrush!_

The food was horrible, it was bland, chewy and watery. She refused to eat the stews that Duncan prepared, feeling slightly ashamed at her behaviour. He did not seem to mind and she thought he must have put it down to her 'refined palate.' She could eat the bread though, and there was some tangy cheese and dried fruits.

It wasn't until the third day that she remembered her bag. In all the chaos she had completely forgotten about it and so it had lain at the bottom of a backpack Duncan had provided. After hunting around for firewood and making sure the Warden was busy, she spilled its contents onto the ground in front of her. She made a mental checklist.

_Wallet...Keys...Mobile phone..._

She fiddled with it briefly before deciding it was completely useless, she was obviously not going to get any reception. Suddenly she spotted something under all the rubbish and receipts that nearly caused her to whoop in joy.

Roll on deodorant...and a toothbrush.

So random and yet, so her to forget she had bought one and left it there.

Ash knew she needed to keep her things hidden, but at least now she could get rid of the stickiness under her arms and the furriness of her teeth. Some semblance of cleanliness rose her spirits just a little.

~**~

After the fifth day of walking for hours on end her legs stopped cramping up. She was so bored with the same old scenery that she played fetch with the Mabari. She had decided to name him Dax after a dog she had owned as a child, she smiled at the irony of giving this huge monster of a dog a chihuahuas name. He took to it though, and she found herself being able to understand him better and better, as though he were literally talking to her.

Hell, might as well stir a bit more crazy into the pot.

By the seventh day she had given up hoping it was all a dream and that she would wake up drooling on her keyboard as she had done many times before. It was disheartening and scary, so she resigned herself to the fact that she was probably locked in a loony bin somewhere living out an elaborate fantasy. Though why anyone would chose to live like this made her think she was subconsciously a masochist.

~**~

It had occurred to her that she knew what was going to happen, not exactly with her Origin story but at the very least what would happen at Ostagar. It weighed on her mind whether or not she should tell Duncan, but she knew he'd either think she was mad, or a witch.

Neither were good prospects.

She decided in the end that saying nothing was the best idea, after all Loghain was at present a respected and well liked Teyrn, there was no evidence to back up her claims and the whole story seemed so far fetched and ridiculous.

"_Everything_ is far fetched and ridiculous."

On the tenth day, they reached Ostagar.

The whirlwind greeting of the King had her head spinning, he was so nice and handsome and-

And soon he would be dead.

Ash's heart hurt as she considered once again telling Duncan about Loghain. But she couldn't, what would she say?

"Teyrn Loghain is a bad, bad man..._Trust _me."

_Yeah, Right._

Oh, and now he was taking her dog and forcing her to explore on her own.

_Go north, find Alistair._

Where the hell was north?

She raised the watch that she had been hiding and rotated it so that the twelve faced the sun, north would be half way between the twelve and the one. She was glad she had retained _some _knowledge from her time as a girl scout,she smiled wryly at the thought that she would probably need it soon.

She wandered around for a little while, recognising things here and there before coming upon the Mages. As she knew she would be, Wynne was leaning up against a tree surveying her surroundings. As Ash approached the old woman regarded her curiously.

"Greeting young lady, you are Duncan's newest recruit are you not? He is not a man easily impressed, you should be proud."

She fought to hide the snort that escaped her, after her behaviour the past week and a half she was sure he was regretting his choice now.

"You have an odd aura about you, I've never seen anything like it."

Ash's heart skipped a beat and she cleared her throat.

"Yes, well I'm special."

She didn't mean for it to sound so arrogant but the Mage was looking at her so strangely, she didn't think she had noticed.

"Well I'm certain Duncan has more for you to do then talk to me. Run along now child."

~**~

Ash turned and approached the ramp that would lead her to the ex-Templar, she had been avoiding it because she didn't know what to expect. So far everything seemed so real...

The flesh was real, the weapons were real, the blood...the blood was definitely real.

She didn't want to get her hopes up and then be disappointed in Alistair.

She had never really gotten to know his character in her previous playthroughs as a Mage and a Dalish Elf, and had hoped this time around to romance him. She caught sight of her reflection in a freshly polished metal shield and laughed.

_So _not going to happen.

She didn't even look like the character she had created, she was _herself_, crooked smile mousy brown hair and all. Only now she was dirtier, and smellier. Her mid length brown hair was tied into a greasy ponytail and her grey green eyes were ringed with grey, she tried to tidy herself up a bit but finally gave up before heading to her destination.

Probably best not to go down that path with a pixelated character anyway.

~**~

But he was not a pixelated character, so definitely _not_ a pixelated character.

"_Holy Crap!"_

He was like Robert Pattinson, no Brad Pitt, no Sam Worthington!

You name any Hollywood hunk or dreamboat that ever lived and he was it.

Times ten.

At least that's how he seemed to her, and she had been gaping at him so long she almost didn't realise he was talking to her.

"Do I have something in my teeth?" he asked, "I wouldn't put it past that Mage to not tell me then have a little giggle about it later."

"Oh no, I-"

She mentally shock herself and forced herself to calm down.

She stuck her hand out, "Hi! I'm Ash," she said a little too brightly and cringed inwardly.

He took her hand, his shake steady and warm.

"Oh right, you're the new recruit, I guess you already know who I am then."

She nodded awkwardly, blushing because she could still feel the warmth of his hand on her own.

He was a bit taller then she had expected, she only just came to above his shoulder in height. But his caramel brown eyes were warm, his grin impish and cheeky and his hair tousled just enough enough to not look deliberate.

"Well I guess we'd better get back to Duncan, I don't think he will be very happy when he hears about the whole 'Me stirring up the Mage' thing."

Plonking his helm onto his head she strode down the ramp and she watched admiringly before shaking her head.

"Man my life _sucks!_"

~**~**~**~**~**~

Thanks for reading, I hope you are enjoying it as much as I am. I decided that going in with a character who knows what will happen will create a lot more confusion, angst and hard decision maknig then a character that has never played the game per se. More to come soon!


	3. First Kill

"_Well this is embarassing..."_

They were in the Kocari Wilds, Daveth, Jory, Alistair and herself.

...And she needed to pee.

Travelling with Duncan she had been able to hide behind a try, using some rough linen to finish up, in the camp they had built a sort of hole in the ground Latrine thing.

But out here...

There was nowhere to go that they wouldn't be able to see or hear her, the swamp wasn't exactly the best place to go to the bathroom. Each time a Darkspawn popped up it was nearly an involuntary function, but her stubborness to not die of embarrassment overcame the need, even though she felt her kidneys would explode.

~**~

Collecting Darkspawn blood was not fun either, the first time they appeared she screamed like a little girl. To be fair, Jory had too, Daveth had not been able to stop laughing for nearly ten minutes at the fact that a grown man's squeal was more high pitched then her own.

The creatures were so disgustingly ugly and smelled so vile that her gag reflex was in overdrive. She was glad for the fact that she seemed to have a strong stomach. It wasn't until one had managed to creep up behind her and slice her armour close to the skin that her stomach couldn't take it any more.

Just the thought of being touched by and having to touch those _things_ had her heaving and wretching all over again.

"I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did," came Alistair's comforting voice as he patted her back in sympathy, "The first time I even _smelled_ a Darkspawn I lost my breakfast, and let me tell you- those blue veiny cheeses that they make do _not_ taste as good the second time around."

This managed to produce a somewhat strangled bark from her as she took a deep breath and bent to examine the monster.

She was very glad that there was nothing left in her stomach as the stench that met her nostrils made her eyes water. As she collected some blood in her vial the dead, soulless black eyes stared up at her, sending a chill down her spine. It's lizard like skin was grey and bloody and the razor sharp teeth, much like a shark's, had bits of flesh stuck between them. She hadn't even noticed that it was _her _sword had caused the killing blow, she must have turned and slashed at it in her panic.

"Are you ok?" Asked Daveth, "You look a little green."

"Oh no I'm fine, absolutely peachy..."

"_Except for the fact that I just killed a living creature..."_

She didn't think they would be very sympathetic to her panic and disgust. She took a deep breath and stood.

"_It's just a game, it's just a __**game**__..."_

But as she looked down at her blood and grime covered hands and felt the aches and pains of overextending her body...

It seemed more real now then anything ever had.

~**~

Flemeth was looking at her strangely and it made her uncomfortable, it was eerie how close the look came to the one Wynne had given her at their first meeting.

"Well _that _was creepy..." Observed Alistair as they headed back to Ostagar.

The witches handed over the Warden treaties just as she knew they would, but she couldn't get Flemeth's piercing hawk like gaze out of her head.

"Did you see the way she was looking at young Ash?" the Rogue put in, "Looked like she wanted to eat her or something."

Ash's ears went red as they talked but said nothing, at least her bladder was now empty. It also occurred to her she had nothing to use when it came to a certain time of the month, but for the time being she had bigger things to worry about.

Drinking the blood of those foul creatures was _not _going to be pleasant.


	4. Ostagar Falls

_Just a warning: There is a bit of colourful language towards the end of the chapter._

~**~

"It is finished, welcome."

She woke to find Dax's tongue licking her face and the two Grey Wardens looking down at her.

"Two more death's," sighed Alistair, helping her to her feet, "How do you feel?"

_Like she had been hit by a bus?_

"That was way worse then I thought it would be," was all she could manage."

"Such is what it takes to be a Grey Warden," replied Duncan sadly.

She couldn't rid her tongue of the foul tasting brew, and her head pounded as though she had been on an all night bender.

"I hope you are feeling ok, the King has requested to see us as soon as you are able."

Duncan took one look at her pale, pinched features and smiled kindly.

"Of course five more minutes shouldn't make much of a difference."

~**~

"_So_...If _I _ever asked you to put on a dress and dance the Remigold...would you do it?"

She wasn't quite sure what exactly the Remigold was but she was sure it would be hilarious. He looked at her curiously.

"For you maybe," he finally grumbled, but she could see the corner of his lips twitching, as though trying to stop himself from smiling, "But it'd have to be a _pretty _one."

Ash knew he was put out by the fact that he was not allowed to fight with the other Wardens but seeing his disappointment up close and personal caused a pang in her heart.

"Let's just get to the Tower, it may not be the most glamorous job, but we can't dawdle."

It was then that they reached the bridge.

In both her previous playthroughs she had never gotten to the other side without being blown up at least once, she very much doubted that if the same thing happened she would be getting up again.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and sprinted the length of the bridge.

She felt heat dangerously close to her at one point and screamed shrilly, her breath catching in her throat.

"Maker's Breath!" cried the ex-Templar as he came panting towards her, "Warn me next time you're going to do that, the dog nearly knocked me off the edge trying to keep up with you."

"Yeah sorry about that, I just have this aversion to being on fire or crushed to death under a massive boulder."

Her tone was sharp from the adrenaline, but he just chuckled at her.

"There's nothing like a brush with death to make you...not like death."

Ash giggled a little as she tried to calm herself,

"Something like that."

It was only then that she sensed them for the first time.

She had heard the expression 'blood ran cold' many times but had never understood the meaning...

Until now.

The shock of the sudden overwhelming of her senses must have shown on her face because her companion nodded grimly and motioned toward the Tower.

This was _not _going to be fun.

~**~

It was so _wrong,_ How did they _fight _like this?

She felt nearly suffocated by the mere presence of the Darkspawn, let alone getting close enough to be able to jab them with her sword. Whoever had thought that drinking Darkspawn blood was a good idea was an idiot.

Or high.

It was probably one of those macho types,

"_Hey let's drink the blood of the spawn of Satan so we can grow up to be big and strong like them!"_

Or better yet, a hippy!

"_Let's drink their blood so we can better understand their __**feelings**__ and use that knowledge to come to a __**peaceful **__resolution."_

She snorted at her own absurd thoughts.

_Yeah, definitely idiot._

~**~

Before she knew it they had reached the top floor. A low rumbling growl reached them as Alistair kicked open the door.

The ogre was nearly as tall as an elephant, it's grotesque purple skin glistened in the light of the small fires that pitted the room. Rivers of blood and saliva dripped from it's maw, and as it roared at them bits of mucous and rotting flesh rained down on them.

"You have _got _to be shitting me!"

"Ash, light the beacon!Dax and I will keep it busy and try to kill it!"

Try being the operative word.

"_Yeah, you do that..." _she muttered to herself as her shaking hands tried to light the tinder.

After dropping it for the third time she was nearly hysterical with frustration, looking over her shoulder she could see that the Warden had abandoned his helm and sweat ran down his grim face. She could see he was panting heavily, trying to wear the thing down as Dax acted as bait.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck!_"

She looked helplessly around her and ran her shaking hands through her greasy, blood matted hair.

This time she was _sure_ she was done for.

It was then that she noticed a small bit of wood jutting out of a smouldering scrap of embers, she snatched it up and blew on it slightly before shoving it into the fireplace.

"Please, _please_ work!" she pleaded just as the embers caught the dry tinder.

At the whoosh of the fire the ogre turned, distracted by the sound and sudden heat.

Ash watched in fascination as Alistair ran up the creature's back and slashed it's throat from behind. Warm black blood spattered her face and armour and she wrinkled her nose in disgust. The dog didn't seem to mind as he jumped up and licked her face, ecstatic that she was ok.

She was about to allow herself a breather when the door completely shattered off its hinges and more Darkspawn came pouring.

She watched in what seemed like slow motion as Dax and Alistair fought to reach her. A curious thudding sensation in her chest caused her to look down. An arrow shaft seemed to be sticking out of her left shoulder yet she felt no pain, only a strange numbness.

"_oh yeah, I forgot about this part."_

She let herself black out.


	5. And Thrust!

Ash couldn't get Flemeth's gaze out of her head, the way the old witch looked at her made her think she knew more then she was letting on. It gave her chills.

As they set off to Lothering with Morrigan now part of their group, Ash really missed her ipod. Being able to whip it out while she had travelling and giving her life a musical commentary had been fun. Now all she had was a brooding ex Templar and an anti social witch, at least Dax was happy to amuse her.

"Do you want to talk about Duncan?" She asked finally, unable to stand the oppressive silence any longer, "Was he like a father to you?"

Alistair seemed surprised by her question, and frowned grimly.

"Duncan warned me from the beginning that this could happen, I guess I just feel guilty...Maybe if I had been there to help, things might have turned out differently."

He sighed and shook his head, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lost it. We have so much riding on us, with the Blight and...everything."

She patted his shoulder awkwardly, not knowing how to comfort the man.

"I know how you feel, things haven't exactly been peachy for me recently either."

His eyes widened as he remembered the Couslands, it wasn't exactly what she had meant- though she did feel as though she had lost her family forever.

"Oh of... of course, how stupid of me to forget."

Now she wished she hadn't said anything as the silence became awkward, it was at that moment that Morrigan decided it was time to rest.

"We will camp here and reach Lothering on the morrow."

Ash was getting good at setting up camp, helping with the fire and setting up tents. She had never been an outdoor person, always preferring to sit at home on her computer.

She watched her Grey Warden companion carefully as he oiled and sharpened his sword, copying his actions.

"Alistair?" Her voice was hesitant, "Could you teach me to fight?"

He looked up from his polishing, considering her carefully.

She blushed.

"I know I'm supposed to _know _all this stuff, but I don't know if you've noticed..."

He smiled slightly, "Well I had noticed your proficiency for falling over and screaming, but I thought you were just copying Jory."

They both remembered the Highcliff knight who had not made it through the joining.

He stood up and motioned for her to follow, she grabbed her shield and sword and hurried after him. He cleared a space and steered her toward the center.

"Hold your shield a little higher and your sword slightly forward."

He corrected her posture, adjusting her position here and there. Every time he touched her she felt a zing of electricity where his fingers had been, he seemed not to notice it.

"Now thrust."

After she had dropped her sword for the third time she threw her shield down in disgust.

"It's a miracle I'm alive really, I should just save the Darkspawn the trouble and go drown myself in a river."

He chuckled and she scowled up at him, putting like a child.

"Don't give up so easily, here let me show you."

Without warning he was behind her, holding the sword and shield steady in her hands. He moved to adjust her hips slightly and she gasped in surprise. His presence burnt her back like the hat of the sun and she knew she must be as red as a tomato.

"Now...thrust!"

His body moved with hers as she lunged forward, her movement fluid.

"Again."

Two times, three times, four times...

Until her body had imprinted the movement.

"Good!" He stepped around and grinned at her, "With practice, you'll get the hang of it in know time."

"I'm a quick learner."

She struggled to keep her voice even, her heart felt like it was going a million miles an hour. She knew she was sweating and grimaced, hoping he hadn't noticed.

"If you two are quite finished playing soldier, the stew is ready."

Ash winced at the word.

At least tomorrow they could get more supplies and-

She brightened slightly.

Tomorrow they would meet Leliana.


	6. The Stream

There was only one word to describe Leliana and that was _hot_!

She was one sexy sister in a Chantry robe, and even covered in blood there was an aura of sweetness about her. Her big green eyes sparkled as she beamed at Ash.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Alistair under his breath, "I mean she had a _dream_, doesn't that seem odd to you?"

"It's not any odder then the dreams the Grey Warden's have, they are real- isn't it the same thing?"

He looked at her with a mixture of surprise and guilt, "Oh so you've-"

But she cut him off as she welcomed the Bard into the fold.

The Qunari on the other hand...

Sten was _very_ intimidating, even Morrigan with her acerbic wit had nothing to say against him when Ash rescued him from his cage.

~**~

Camp was...interesting to say the least.

Leliana commanded her attention telling her stories and making her laugh. Dax seemed very interested in Sten and the girl was surprised when the large man actually picked up the stick and threw it for the dog. She noticed Alistair watching her carefully, a slight frown on his face. As he adjusted her grip on the sword she sighed.

"What's on your mind? You're awfully quiet."

"I'm just surprised, that's all. You are taking the dreams very well."

She smiled slightly as she swung at him, he had taken to sparring with her in an effor to simulate combat.

"I wouldn't say that. Don't think they don't scare the crap out of me because they do, it's just-"

He knocked her ribs and she let out a little _oomf _in surprise, she sighed and sat heavily, rubbing her chest. Alistair sat beside her, waiting for her to continue.

"It's just that I've seen a lot worse in the past few weeks, and I don't believe something so far away should have a hold on me."

The Warden played with the debris at his feet, flicking sticks and grass into the fire and watching them pop and sizzle.

"It takes a bit," he said after a while, "But eventually you can block the dreams out."

They sat in companionable silence until Ash noticed Leliana beckoning to her.

"Do you have another story for me?"

The Bard was grinning slyly.

"I have something that I thought you might like."

The woman reached into her pack and pulled out a small purple bar that smelt of lavender.

It was soap.

Ash was both grateful and horrified, she hadn't thought she smelled _that _bad. When Leliana saw her face she laughed, the sound was beautiful, like the tinkling of little bells.

"Don't look so embarrassed my friend, I noticed you eyeing it longingly back in Lothering at thought I might surprise you."

The girl flung her arms around her companion's neck.

"You have _no _idea how much this means to me."

Grinning, she grabbed the soap and headed for the nearby stream, being careful to find enough cover so as not to be seen.

~**~

She practically ripped off her clothes before rushing into the water, she could feel the grime melting away as she scrubbed her skin red raw. She soaped up her hair and was finally able to work out some of the knots before finally washing her clothes.

She still had her original underwear and bra, not willing to give them up for the coarse, itchy undergarments offered to her. She had long ago gotten rid of her jeans but still wore her loose baggy shirt as it was comfortable under her armour. She was given a pair of light leather leggings and knee high leather boots and decided to keep them, though she had her trusty old sneakers packed away in her bag.

It was getting dark before she could pull herself from the water shivering, her fingers pruny. Obviously without a towel she had to put her clothes back on soaking wet, they clung close to her body. Her pants were in her hands when she froze, fear stopping the breath in her throat.

She could _feel _them, and they were close.

Looking around she panicked, she had not thought to bring her sword or even Dax for protection and the hysteria was causing her to hyperventilate.

Suddenly there was a snarl and three Darkspawn appeared from the darkness. One of them was holding a staff and she realised it was a magic user, an emissary if she remembered correctly.

Her mouth became dry and as she tried to swallow she choked. She took a step backwards and the creatures snarled louder, advancing.

"_Screw this!"_

She turned and bolted and felt a sizzle of power fly past her head, yelping she crashed into a tree and fell. Footsteps pounded loudly from her right and Alistair burst through the trees, pulverising one Darkspawn with his shield and skewering another. The emissary lived and threw spell after spell at the Warden. His face was grim but his Templar abilities managed to deflect most of the magic.

A firebolt flew past him and ignited a tree. The flames spread quickly and Ash looked up in horror as smouldering leaves rained down on them. Alistair threw his shield at the Darkspawn, dazing the creature, without warning he turned at picked her up, throwing her bodily into the stream.

Startled, she inhaled water and was unable to right herself, managing to bash her head on a jutting rock. In her shock all she could think about was all the stupid movies she had ever seen where a person diving into water to escape something had hit their heads on rocks.

"_Typical."_

Seconds later strong arms grabbed her kicking and spluttering from the water.

"Ash! Calm down, it's me."

It was a minute before she realised it was Alistair and they were downstream of the fire.

He was squatting in front of her, looking concerned.

"Are you alright?"

She felt a little dazed and wobbled slightly as he helped her to her feet.

"Woah, that looks like quite a bump," He touched her head softly, concentrating on her wound, "Sorry about that."

Pain seared through her skull but in her haze it was worth it, his hand on her face felt electric and her heart felt like she had been running a marathon. He looked down and suddenly his face went beet red.

"Ah, we should probably get you back to camp and- your pants."

She wanted to die of embarrassment.

In his haste to save her, they had left her pants on the ground where she had been bathing. She only had her loose over sized shirt on...and it was clinging to her. There was also the fact that she was quite..._curvy_.

Her penchant for large shirts had begun at twelve when she had unfortunately acquired the nickname 'Big Boobs Mcgee.'

"Yes, let's do that," she replied hoarsely, taking a few steps forward and immediately regretting it.

Suddenly he was concerned again, all thoughts of propriety out the window.

"Here, let me help you."

He placed one of her arms around his shoulders and hoisted her up so he was carrying her.

"Alistair..."

The look he gave her left no room for argument.

She covered her face with her hands, pretending she was nursing her head.

"_My life __**sucks**__!"_


	7. Zombie Apocalypse

"Ouch! Watch where you're poking me Morrigan!"

"Oh, stop being such a child and sit still!"

The witch was not much of a healer, that was clear, Her poultices smelt revolting and the brew she made Ash drink tasted even worse. At least it numbed the pain in her forehead to a dull ache.

"T'was silly of you to go wandering off by yourself in the first place, next time take the mongrel with you."

In hindsight that probably would have been the best thing to do, but in the moment all she could think about was feeling clean and fresh.

"And I lost my soap," she muttered, quite put out by the discovery.

Dax whimpered sympathetically and placed his head under her hand for a pat, she smiled, he always made her feel better.

"Maker that thing smells ghastly," Alistair wrinkled his nose as he approached her,

"Well don't expect me to be washing it off anytime soon," she replied wryly as he sat beside her.

"I hope it doesn't leave a scar," she added, prodding the sticky paste with her finger then wiping it on her pants in disgust.

"I wouldn't think it would be that bad, if something smells that horrid it must be good for you."

She smiled shyly as he bumped her shoulder companionably. Ash couldn't understand it, the more time she spent with him the more electricity she felt, it was as though there was an invisible robe between them and whenever he moved it tugged her whole body. It must have had something to do with the taint, her companion had said something about the taint allowing them to tap into the 'hive mind' of the Darkspawn, so why wouldn't they be able to feel other Grey Wardens?

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" She asked softly, watching his face carefully.

"I'm worried about the Arl, but I'm hoping there is something we can do to help find a cure, we really need Eamon's help on this one."

"The Urn of Sacred Ashes? How can one woman's remains be so magical."

"I'm hoping it won't lead to that, Templar's are prone to exaggeration, we could go in there expecting the worst only to find Eamon up and about."

_"Don't count on it,"_ Ash thought to herself.

"Look, I need to tell you something I -uh, probably should have told you earlier..."

_"Oh, here we go."_

"I told you how Arl Eamon raised me right? That my mother was a serving girl at the castle and he took me in?"

She nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"Well the reason he did that was because... well because King Maric was my father, which made Cailan my half brother I suppose..."

When she didn't reply he looked at her, she was staring at the sky.

"Well...?"

"Well what?"

"I was expecting some sort of reaction, you know something like: **So Alistair you're not just a bastard but a royal bastard**..."

She snorted and stiffled a giggle at his high pitched imitation of her voice.

"Seriously? After the past few weeks I've had I'm not surprised by anything."

_"Not to mention the fact I already knew that was coming..."_

"Besides I don't know if you noticed but you bore a striking resemblance to Cailan, how could people not see that?"

"You'd be surprised what people don't see when it's convienient for them."

"I hear that," she muttered.

ooOOoo

_"Dear Lord."_

They were the only words she could utter about the gruesome sight that lay before her.

Zombies.

Even in her worse nightmare nothing had ever frightened her or disgusted her this much, it was like every zombie apocalypse come to life.

"I swear if I survive this I will never compain about fighting Darkspawn ever again."

"You and me both," replied Alistair as he stood to her back.

The sickening crunch and thump of bones breaking and limbs being lopped off made her shudder uncontrollably, the stench was horrific.

"I will also never complain about the smell of Morrigan's poultice's."

It was as though her words were a plea to some hidden god, the Maker maybe.

**"Please let me live and I'll never complain again!"**

The smell of burning flesh and hair made her gag as one of Morrigan's firebolts hit it's mark. She could hear whimpering and was embarrased when she realised it was coming from her, but no one else seemed to notice. The grim determination on Alistair's face scared her, it was as though he thought he might not live either.

_"We have to live, it's only a game and I haven't come this far just to be eaten by a walking corpse!"_

But no matter how many times she said it, the conviction was starting to fade.

This was most definately not a game, not anymore.

When the carnage was finally over only a few Redcliffe citizens had lost their lives, everyone was in good spirits. Well everyone but her group.

"We cannot take time to rest, we need to get up to the castle."

Alistair's voice cut through the villagers revelry and Bann Teagan sobered immediately.

"Very well, follow me."

As they climbed the hill a breathless female voice called out to the Bann.

"Teagan, thank the Maker you yet live!"

Ash took an immediate dislike to her, even when playing her many playthroughs she had never liked the character. She just seemed so...entitled.

Sure, she was just trying to save her son, but if she hadn't been such a sneaky bitch in the first place none of this would have happened. Alistair was not to impressed by her either.

"You remember me don't you Lady Isolde?"

The woman looked at him and seemed quite surprised before a gleam that Ash did not like entered her eyes.

_"Well that didn't happen in the game..."_

The woman was still quite young though she was older then Alistair but something told Ash that wouldn't be a problem.

Yeah, _entitled_ wasn't the word.

"Alistair, of all the...Why are you here?"

"They are Grey Warden's Isolde, I owe them my life."

"Something about her does not ring true," Morrigan's voice in her ear made her start, all the girl could do was nod, she did not want the woman thinking she was suspicious of her.

Teagan led them to the secret entrance inside the old mill.

"I really don't like this plan Teagan," the girl muttered, for once she wished they could just go through the front door.

"What other choice do we have? If your business is important this is the only way."

_"Of course it is, how silly of me to think I could take short cuts and avoid all the hack and slash."_

As the Bann retreated to the castle with Lady Isolde Ash caught her Grey Warden companion staring after them, frowning slightly.

"She's changed. The last time I saw her she was just a girl, not much older then me, silly and frivilous. Yet here she is risking all to save her son and husband."

She wanted to slap him, was that an _admiring_ glance?

"Oh for pity's sake!" she grumbled pushing passed him.

"What? What did I say?"

ooOOoo

**_So sorry about the long gap in between updates but you know that pesky reality, always getting in the way. Hopefully more chapters will be up soon, fingers crossed and don't forget to review!_**


	8. The Fade

"What _is _that?"

"Is it supposed to be that colour?"

Even Dax looked apprehensive about to bubbling pot of grey goop Alistair had cooked, the dog sniffed dubiously before flattening his ears to his head and whining.

"Oh come on," Alistair encouraged, scooping plenty into his bowl, "It's not _that _bad..."

He took a generous mouthful, his face changing. He swallowed with difficulty.

"Ok," He squeaked, "Maybe it _is _that bad..."

As she rummaged through her pack for something edible the morning's events played out in her mind for the hundredth time.

_"Please don't hurt him, he's just a boy!"_

The panic is Isolde's voice had been genuine, but the vibe Ash got from her just didn't feel right.

Then it hit her, and she wondered how no one else had seen it.

Isolde didn't love Connor, he was just a means to an end. Sure, she put on good front, but he was also the only child of Arl Eamon and therefore his heir, if something happened to him...

Maybe the woman couldn't have any more children, after all there would have been no need for contraception. And as the boy was already eight, she didn't think any more would be forthcoming. Connor was his mother's security, as long as he was alive she would live in luxury with status.

_"Relax, I'm not in the habit of killing children."_

It had been an effort to keep the disdain from her voice,

_"I already have a plan."_

ooOOoo

Why she didn't think to go to the Mages first was beyond her, she had always done it before as a means of strategy. SHe figured it must have been from Alistair's influence, he was so genuinely scared about the Arl that she felt she had to reassure him that everything was ok.

Meeting Wynne again sent shivers through her, once again she had that odd feeling that the old woman knew more then she was letting on.

"They have sent for the Right of Annulment then? I feared as much, what else could they do?"

Ash explained the situation as quickly as she could, indicating that Greagoir would only take Irving's word that everything was ok.

"Then our path is laid before us," she replied nodding thoughtfully, "We must save Irving."

Ash took a deep breath as Wynne let down the barrier, she was not looking forward to meeting Abominations, and with good reason.

The first ones caught them by surprise, man sized blobs of flesh screaming and screeching as they attacked. If she hadn't been so busy fighting for her life she might have frozen in terror, they were almost as horrific as the zombies had been. As it was they were surprisingly easy to kill, they way they disintegrated into into a disgusting pink goop made her shudder, these _things_ used to be people, now they were gone forever.

And then there were the Mages, the ones who had _chosen _blood magic. They seemed quite mad, shooting spells aimlessly, the deadness in their eyes chilling her. Alistair's face was grim and she was prompted to ask what was wrong.

"I recognise some of these men from the Chantry," he replied, indicating the Templar bodies that littered the abandoned halls.

"To think... I could have been amongst them..."

She touched his arm gently, trying to convey her sympathy, he just smiled sadly.

As they came to the last door before the third story staircase Ash verred right.

It was the First Enchanter's Study.

"What are you _doing?_" Alistair asked shocked as she rummaged through the desk and draws, Wynne raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Finally she found what she was looking for, a small, unassuming black leatherbound tome.

Flemeth's Grimoire.

Tucking it into her pack she proceeded up the stairs.

ooOOoo

_"Man this place is worse then the Tower of Ishal," _she muttered to herself as they climbed what felt like the fiftieth flight of steps, she was so out of breath she could barely grunt from the exertion.

"No time to rest," Wynne hurried impatiently, Sten, Alistair and Ash just looked at her.

"That's easy for you to say, you aren't lugging a eighty pounds of metal on your back," Alistair managed to get out.

"Oh stop complaining, I'm twice your age young man, this should be a breeze for you."

Wordlessly they continued into the next room, Ash forgetting what was in there and being caught by surprise.

"Oh look," Said the Sloth Demon as they burst through the door, "VIsitors."

The fleshy creatures face crinkled into a parody of a smile, "I'd entertain you but...too much effort involved..."

It's drawl pierced her brain and suddenly she felt overwhelmingly tired.

"We must fight it," gasped Wynne, "Or all is lost..."

"Why fight? You deserve more...you deserve...rest..."

Ash realised she was on her hands and knees but couldn't remember how she had gotten there, her mind was fuzzy and her body felt heavy.

"Sleep," A reassuring voice whispered in her ear, "The world will go on without you..."

ooOOoo

Ash snapped awake, her heart was hammering in her chest and her breathing rapid. she had, had a bad dream, but as she tried to remember, it slipped from her grasp. There was a soft knocking on her door as her mother popped her head in.

"Rise and shine sleepy head, there's chores to be done!"

The woman grinned and disappeared into the hallway and the girl groaned, forcing herself out of bed. As she stumbled into the bathroom her body felt unusually sore and it puzzled her. She turned on the taps in the sink and splashed her face, shivering as the coldness hit her skin. Looking up she caught her reflection in the mirror and frowned, something wasn't right...

Twirling a few strands of her hair in her fingers it seemed longer and lighter, but that couldn't be right? Suddenly her mother appeared again, she was unnaturally chipper and Ash's heart sped up once more, there was something really wrong here.

"Ash come on, breakfast is ready and your brother needs the bathroom."

The girl studied the woman closely.

"You...you're not my mother..."

She said it slowly, not quite sure of what she was saying. The woman's smile flickered and something flashed in her eyes.

"Don't be silly, now hurry up and get downstairs."

Ash looked down, she was no longer in her pajamas but the heavy leather armour she had obtained in Ostagar.

"No."

The creature that wore the mask of her mother approached slowly.

"Get downstairs..._Now!_"

It's voice had changed to a deep, gutteral tone. She pulled her sword from it's scabbard.

"Make me."

The creature grinned, it became grotesque, too big for the human face...

And suddenly the spell was broken.

"My pleasure," It hissed as the walls dissolved around them, revealing a blurred, barren landscape.

The Fade.

The Abomination screamed as it flew toward her, her sword pierced its stomachand she pulled upwards. It wailed in agony as it's innards spilt onto the dirt before dissolving into nothing. She breathed hard for several minutes, her eyes closed. It had seemed almost too easy...

For a minute there she thought she had been back home and surprisingly, she found it had not been a pleasant one.

Finally she opened her eyes, puzzled. Everytime she had entered the Fade in the game she had been transported to Weisshaupt, the Grey Warden Haven, maybe that was why she had been so thrown.

Sudeenly it hit her that she was alone and she felt faint. The whole time she had been here she had never been by herself, and remembering what she had to do in the Fade made her want to curl up into a ball and die.

_"I can't do it," _She panicked, placing her hands over her face, _"There's no way I can do this..."_

"Who are you? Are you a demon?"

The voice snapped her out of her despair. She turned to find the Mage Niall standing before her, though she could see right through him. It was quite strange, as though he were a hologram.

"No, I'm here to rescue Irving, I need the Circle's help."

"Then we are all lost, for you shall never leave this place. The First ENchanter will be turned into an Abomination and the Chantry will destroy the Circle once and for all."

"Not if I can help it," She replied, clenching her hands into fists.

"What can you do?" He asked, despair evident in his tone, "I have been here for what seems like years and have exhausted all options."

She took a deep breath, her hands were shaking but her will and her voice were steady.

"I will find a way..."


End file.
